Uncomfortable

Last night, I was sitting on Panama City beach alone spending time with God, having spent all day around crazy college students at a church retreat. It was about two o'clock in the morning, no one was around, everything was quiet except for the sound of the waves crashing on each other off the shore. How peaceful is that? How beautiful is God's handiwork. Wow, I thought to myself, what an Awesome God. I felt so comfortable. 

But wait. Comfortable? I thought about this word for a bit. I can say that I am extremely blessed by everything the Lord has given me in my life so far. Yes, bad things happen, but I live a comfortable life...

I thought about a praise and worship we had earlier that day (which was amazing, especially since that's where I feel closest to God) and how the lead singer asked us to kneel. Behind me, I heard people grunt at the thought of having to get out of their comfy chairs, get on the floor, and kneel, and to be honest I wasn't too thrilled at this either. But then he said something that really made me think- a person's posture really shows how a person is feeling, and every now and then kneeling before God is a way of placing all our feelings, everything we have, before our Lord...even if it makes us feel uncomfortable. 

Once I got into my kneeling position before God, all these thoughts starting rushing through my mind about my life and how I am often too comfortable. Jesus didn't come to earth to live a life of comfort. I don't think there is a single mention of Christ high rollin' with the wealthy, fine dining with the rich and famous, or being in the most popular circle of friends. Instead, Christ hung out with the tax collectors, the prostitutes, the outcasts...He was hated by so many, and then killed by the ones He came to save. That does NOT spell out comfort in my eyes. 

So what does this mean to me? While sitting on the beach, I thought about this question for quite some time. Here's my conclusion- sometimes you have to be uncomfortable to realize what comfort really is. I shouldn't strive to live a life of comfort by surrounding myself with nice things, but that I need to live my life based off the knowledge that I am truly loved by God, the King of kings, the I Am, who sent his one and only Son to die on the cross for me. That is all the comfort I need. Everything else will fall into place. Just have faith. 

Once I stood up from kneeling in the praise and worship, I felt different. It wasn't until two o'clock the next morning for me to come to the realization that the difference was that I felt uncomfortable for once- and boy it felt so good. I pray that God will not only place me into uncomfortable situations in my life, but to throw me in them. 

God, I give You my life- so do with it what you will...even if it makes me uncomfortable because that's what Christ did for me. You love me, and that's all the comfort I need. 

Emily