Demons

I whole-heartedly believe in angels. There is not a fiber in my being that doesn't believe that God has angels surrounding me at all times. There are times in my life that I look back on where I can tell you that God sent me an angel that day to protect me. Nearly fatal car accidents, moments when I'm about to break and the perfect person comes along to comfort me, or other times where I know that an angel has been sent to give me the comfort or the protection that I need.

But what about the times when the bad gets to me? Those times where you feel like your heart feels like it's about to get ripped from your chest and you want to scream so loud but you know you can't...what about those times? Times when you are faced with a choice of choosing between doing the right thing or doing the wrong. Times when you feel like you can't get any lower that you feel like life isn't worth it. Times when you go against everything you believe in and take on the role of someone who you would never identify as yourself. Where are your angels then?

Right now I am sitting in my dorm room alone. But I know better than that. I'm not alone. First, I know God is looking down on me, keeping a protective eye on his little girl. Second, I know that the Holy Spirit is in me. Third, I know that angels are flooding my room. Finally, I know that the demons are right outside my door, seeping through the cracks trying to make there way into my mind. Whether you believe this or not, you are constantly surrounded by the good and the bad. Angels and Demons.

Church on Sunday night focused on the subject of demons. I got a whole new perspective on what demons looked like. The media plays demons off to be Satan's little helpers with horns and tales and sharp teeth who carry around pitch forks (or whatever you call those pointy things). But the truth is, we SEE demons daily. We FEEL demons daily. They are our thoughts. They are our temptations. They are the things that make us feel hatred, pride, lust, and all the negative things that we feel towards others. Demons come in all ways, shapes and forms, and it is our job to realize what they look like- to recognize the demon when they knock on our door.

Satan is smooth. He knows what makes us tick and what makes us give in. C.S. Lewis wrote a book called The Screwtape Letters. If you haven't read it, I highly suggest it. It's an easy read but it has such an intense message behind the story. It's a series of letters from a demon (Screwtape) to his nephew (Wormwood), giving him advice on how to stray a human from finding Christ. It's an ongoing process of little things that the demon does to slowly try to get the human away from where he needs to be. It's so interesting because we never look at demons from their perspective. There is an continuous battle between angels and demons in the world. Right now. As we speak. In the lives of every individual, demons do everything they can to get us as far away from God as possible. Through alcoholism, sex, drugs, gossip, hatred toward enemies, or things even like depressed thoughts, demons try to get us where it hurts. There's one thing we have to realize...these things don't come from God. No matter how bad we tend to blame God for putting us in these situations or letting bad things happen, these things do NOT come from him. Nothing bad comes from God for God is love. Obviously we live in a world full of demons, but our job is to find the light in this darkness.

Satan's goal is for us to define ourselves by our darkness. Recently for me, that's what I've been doing. I've focused on all the negative things going on in my life and how I feel about it that I get to a place where forget who I am. So who am I? Jesus didn't come down to let me to be continued to be defined by my sins and my sorrows. He came to save me..to wash me clean. Because of Him, I can now be defined by my REDEMPTION through Him. That's why God sends us angels. They whisper in our ears to give us the strength to go against the grain and against what the world is telling us to do. They carry us when we forget how to walk when we've become so weak by our internal thoughts and emotions. Our job is to let them carry us. It's a choice. We decide who we listen to, whether it be the angels or the demons.

We are all sinners and we all fall short. But the thing is that we have that redemption. If we believe that it's real, that there is a war going on inside of us and that we have Jesus on our side, and believe that whole heartedly, we will be cleansed white as snow. It is not impossible. We can get that healing through Him and ONLY through Him.

You're never alone. You just need to chose what surrounds you and what you let get inside of you.

You're never alone.

Snow

I love snow. As a kid, I always got excited at the thought of snow so that you could get out of school. When that lucky day came, you wake up to a white blanket of snow and you bundle up as quick as you can (or as quickly as mom would let you) and sprint outside so you can play for as long as you can. It wasn't everyday that you got to experience snow.

Snow angels were always my favorite and they still are. It was easy to do, and it gave me the chance to lay down in the fluffy snow and really feel it. It let me just take it all in as the snow falls on your face, because my face was looking up, and I would open my mouth to catch as many snowflakes in my mouth as possible. After I finished my snow angel, I would just lay there. I don't know why, but I felt so protected.

Today, my opinion on snow hasn't changed. The only difference now is the fact that I have to drive in the snow, and sometimes that's just a bit dangerous. But besides that, snow is something I truly love.

As I've grown up, snow has made less and less of an appearance in Tennessee, but recently, there has been a lot of snow. When it snows, I always feel like God is erasing all the bad in the world. It's almost like it lightens the mood, or makes all things fresh, but for me, it's a reminder.

Recently, I've been struggling because I've been going through something that no one ever wants to go through...a breakup. It's been about a month since it happened, and boy have I come a long way. Looking back to the moment when it happened, I felt like God had abandoned me. Why would God let me go through so much pain? I was so angry. I was so sad. I was so hurt. But God is an awesome God.

God knows my heart. He knows exactly what to do to make a bad situation into something so good. The next morning after the break up, guess what I woke up to? ... SNOW. Wow. God is awesome. It continued snowing for the next three days. During those few days, I was so confused, I was so lost, but God let the snow keep falling. It was almost as if he was reminding me that he was right there beside me. Like when I was a kid laying in the snow and feeling that protection, God was reminding me of that exact feeling. He was holding me in his arms...I just had to let him.

Right now, I am watching the snow fall as I write this. God is doing some serious work on my heart right now. But if it wasn't because of my bad situation, I would have never gotten here. I need to let God decrease ME to nothing, so that he can build me up and remold my heart to be a heart that yearns for God and him alone. He is getting rid of the old me, so that I can be new again in him.

Snow is a funny thing. Even in its beauty, it kills all the life on the earth...the trees lose their leaves, the flowers wither away. Once the snow ends, however, the earth has a fresh start. The flowers bloom, the trees fill back in their original splendor, and a fresh feeling fills the air after the snow leaves. That's what God has to do to each one of us. He doesn't want us to go through pain, but when we do go through it, he saves us. He wipes us clean and gives us a new beginning. It takes time, but in the end, it turns out better than it ever could have been before the snow came. What an amazing God.

Thanks for the snow, God...it's beautiful.